I have never lived alone. Ever since I moved out of my parents house I’ve lived with other people. I’ve lived with single dudes, and I’ve lived with a married couple (thanks Eric and Kristie!). So I’ve never been “alone”. But some how I managed to be lonely most of the time.

I’ve been realizing lately how I was always around people and, having nothing to do with the quality of the friendships I had with roommates (who are some of my best friends), I was always lonely. Yet now I’m around Mikenna for much of the time. Sometimes we’re in separate rooms doing separate things for hours, but knowing she’s there keeps me from sinking into my own little world.

Even when I’m totally absorbed in playing a game on the computer or whatever, in the back of my mind I know she’s there, and it keeps me from losing perspective totally.

When I was single it was hard to keep from being self involved. It was hard not to collapse into myself. This magnified all of my problems and magnified many other things about my personality as well. So I became depressed often (if not most of the time) and my state of mind was rarely where it should be.

Forcing myself to recognize that there was a part of myself that was outside myself (Christ, my family and friends, etc) forced me out of the spiral and allowed me to function. But, having a more evident representation of Christ, of something that is a part of me, yet outside of me, has made it so much easier to stay in the right frame of mind.

Being forced* to live outside of your own head does wonders. Being forced to think about someone other than yourself is the best medicine for a lot of life’s’ little woes, real or imagined.

I’m so glad I’m married, and to a pretty attractive woman at that.

- sean

* “forced” carries a bad connotation, especially in terms of marriage, in that it carries a meaning of constraint or coersion. Good. Like making a promise to get in shape and hiring a personal trainer to wake you up in the  morning to work out, I’m being coerced and constrained into doing something good and training my character. Thank God.

Related posts:

1. Randomly Bragging About Your Unexceptional Life

Filed under: Daily, Attractive Woman, Back Of My Mind, Best Medicine, Connotation, Constraint, Dudes, Family And Friends, Frame Of Mind, Friendships, Kristie, Married Couple, Married Life, Personal Trainer, Personality, Playing A Game, Roommates, Separate Rooms, Some Of My Best Friends, Spiral, Woes