09.27Oh I guess cats ARE better than dogs
Endal was name “Dog of the Millennium.” If you are wondering why, well, it was because he was god**** genius even by human standards. Since the severely brain damaged and wheelchair-bound Parton could do virtually nothing for himself, Endal had to learn a lot of things that, quite frankly, dogs have no business doing.
He could get stuff from grocery store shelves, he learned Parton’s PIN number and could use the ATM machine, he was able to operate the washing machine, fetched numerous different household items based on specific gestures and defeated Contra III all the way through without stopping. He could also use the elevator, open train doors and, like most dogs, get the paper.
In case that wasn’t awesome enough, he managed to make national headlines in 2001 when Allen Parton was hit by a car and thrown from his wheelchair. Endal pulled him to safety and put him into the recovery position, ready for the paramedics. Endal then ran back into the street to get Parton’s cell phone…
OK, he wasn’t able to call for help on the phone (but man, can you imagine if he had?!?) but he did find a blanket to cover Parton with, and then ran into a nearby hotel, barking until someone figured out what was going on and called for an ambulance.
Ok I’m not saying every dog can do this (Rosie certainly can’t). But can any cat do this? Ever?
I hearby consider the argument closed.
- sean
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Ok, your argument has a gaping hole. We are dealing with a spectrum here. In my experience, cats fill a much narrower scope on the spectrum. What is the spectrum? It looks something like this:
Stupid ———-*———-*———-*———-Cool
The stars (*) have broken up the spectrum into quartiles. Cats generally occupy a position in one of the two middle quartiles. Some would argue cats can only occupy the quartile closest to “stupid”, but evidence shows this is an argument that is not backed up with statistical proof. The majority of cats are somewhere inbetween stupid and cool. Some err on the stupid side, some err on the cool side. It is very rare however to find a super cool cat or a super stupid cat. Dogs however fall all over the spectrum. Because of this there are many dogs that are way cooler than the average cat. However, there are MANY dogs that are way more stupid and annoying than the average cat.
While I can instantly pull to mind dozens of memories of dogs jumping on my, licking me, barking at me, growling at me, pooping around me etc. etc. I can only recall a few select unpleasant moments with cats. On top of that, cats have the ongoing advantage of being much easier to care for. The only argument I can see you winning is that the coolest dog is much more able minded and able to help than the coolest cat, so much so that their increased abilities make it worth the big responsibility of owning a pet that is much more intensive to care for and clean up after. But that percentage is certainly smaller than the uppermost quartile and probably in the range of less than a percent.
Overall, I would say that the argument is still wide open. Rebuttal?
September 28th, 2009 at 9:07 am